Conscious Parenting: The Critical Shift Our World Needs

I can feel his kicks and his pulsing heart within my body. Beginning his incremental, gradual decent towards the “outside” world.

Even though it appears that he is inside me and that soon we will be separate, I know this is not the truth.

The truth is we both live inside each other and the term “outside” is just a concept. Something we’ve learned. A false program.

The illusion is that we are separate from one another and “everything” around us but what if we remembered that everything is actually connected. Alive. Self-aware.

What if we had a full understanding of this matrix we live in?

And that E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G is a mirror of our inner reality?

What if we were taught these truths from day one?

By the age of just seven, 95% of the subconscious programs are set. That means that most of our adult life - our thoughts, behaviors and beliefs are determined way before we had conscious awareness of them.

That doesn’t mean that we can’t change but it does mean that it takes an incredible amount of effort and focus and energy to change the way we perceive reality.

It means we NEED to meditate and get out of the pathological cycles of thinking so we can access this deeper knowledge that lives within us, just beyond the level of mind.

Knowing this excites me beyond words.

While we’re all doing the work to clean up generations of dysfunction and outdated programs, we have the chance to program this new generation in an entirely new way.

In fact, we have to.

This generation has come to help save the planet from its’ own destruction. The children coming to the earth at this time are extremely brave warriors of light. Although they may look just like you and I, they are very different and they know what needs to happen now.

If they are given the proper tools - programs based on empowerment, love, acceptance, understanding - if they are given tools for how to handle the spectrum of human emotions - how to embrace the yin and yang of life - how to use their thoughts and words consciously - then we have a chance.

It is our responsibility, whether you have kids or not, to be aware of the programs you’re running, the speech you’re using and even the thoughts you’re thinking when you’re in the presence of a child... especially one under 7 years old.

They are our gurus, our teachers, our saviors. Let us not forget the importance of their sacred innocence and let us be humble enough to hear their wisdom.

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Why I’m Not Afraid of Natural Childbirth

Our little one is growing so fast!! It's hard to believe we're going into our third trimester this week!

As the belly grows bigger, the questions become more frequent. From friends and strangers... people I meet out and about:

“Are you afraid of giving birth?”

My honest reply: “No”

Although, a few months ago, I would have had a very different answer.

The truth is, the more I learn about the human body and the natural process of birth, the more excited I become.

Is it going to be intense? Of course. We are talking about delivering a human being here.

But what I've learned from interviewing women who've had easy, even blissful/orgasmic births, is that if you can fully let go of the fear around it, it can be pleasurable.

A woman's body was designed to give birth. And the majority of the time she doesn't require any medical intervention. In fact, the chemicals released in the brain are not only pain-relieving but are the same chemicals released when a woman has an orgasm.

So most of the pain women experience comes from resistance to what's happening, to the intensity of it all.

Fear and tension actually prevent the uterus from opening which, in turn, forces the muscles to work against each other and causes more pain.

When the baby is ready to make his way into the world, he sends a flood of hormones to the mother which signals the start of the birth process. Even this process has been highjacked by the medical community.

Most women in hospitals are given Pitosin to induce or accelerate labor, as if there's a time limit on how long you or your baby should take.

Yes, after the water breaks, you have a shorter window of time (24 hours) but often the water doesn't break until later in the process. And in hospitals, it's considered normal to break the woman's water for her.

All of this goes against nature. Then they offer pain killers that numb the muscles a woman needs need to push her baby out. It's no wonder so many babies are pulled out with vacuums and forceps.

Our minds and our births have been completely highjacked by a system who's primary interest is getting us in-and-out of the hospital as fast as possible and women comply simply out of fear. They trust the doctors, they just want to be safe.

When my husband and I first started talking about having kids, he asked me if I was open to having a natural birth. At the time, I really wasn't sure and had never even thought about delivering outside a hospital. But the more I learned, the less confidence I had in the medical system and the more confidence I had in myself.

Sometime in the first few weeks of my pregnancy (before we even knew), we went on a meditation retreat where I had the most vivid experience of my own birth. I didn't just remember it, I re-lived it. I could feel the forceps pulling me out of my cozy womb and into the world.

I realized that in that moment, I subconsciously decided the world was unsafe... And the deep-seeded belief that I wasn't strong enough to birth began.

The experience was so vivid and profound that I had to excuse myself from the temple to be alone for a while. Josiah came out shortly after to check on me and as we sat together under the star speckled sky, I confessed that giving birth was the one thing I was the most afraid of in my life.

He held space for me as I cried and released.

Little did we know (on a conscious level) that I was actually pregnant at the time.

It seems the subconscious mind was helping to prepare me and clear out any residual fears living inside me.

And then the most interesting thing happened... The fear went away.

Not 100%. That took some time and research, but something inside me shifted that night.

Now, when people share their birth/horror stories or the trauma their friends went through, I politely remind them that it doesn't have to be like that. Sometimes I stop them from sharing all together.

After all, what we believe and what we let into our conscious/sub-conscious mind creates our experience of reality.

Am I being naive to think it can be painless? Maybe.

But I'd rather be naive and optimistic than fearful and pessimistic... especially when I know the hormones of fear literally block, slow and prevent the birth process from unfolding naturally.

We've been taking Bradley Method classes (husband-coached childbirth) with the amazing Rachel Harris for anyone who wants to dive deeper and learn more... I've also been reading the Hypnobirthing book which is amazing!

You can trust your body. You can trust your body to get pregnant (most of the time - if you have an irregular cycle like I did, I'd love to offer my advice on that). And you can trust your body to birth a baby.

It's a meditation. It requires a deep surrender, a full allowing, a death of the old self.

It's a full-on initiation.

I just wish more women would take their power back and learn what they can before going to the hospital to give birth.

The preparation for natural birth takes a lot more time and will require you to calm that anxious little ego. It will require meditation (20-60 min/day), daily affirmations and visualizations, strengthening your pelvic floor (300 squats/day), stretching, moving, walking... the body has to be strong as well as the mind.

Is this too much for most women to commit to? Maybe. And I totally get it. I don't have a 9-5... I live a different life.

But is it worth at least trying? I believe it is. There are so many ways to go about natural birthing - home birth, water birth, birthing centers... and often times insurance will cover these methods as well.

The rate of c-sections in hospitals is up to almost 30% and this just isn't necessary (the majority of the time). It's the interruption of the normal birth process that creates this kind of "need".

We don't need bright hospital lights and constant monitoring. We need dim lights, peaceful music or silence and very little interruption. If you look at animals, they know how to birth their babies without the help of a doctor. Without medication or an IV drip.

We are the same.

We have just forgotten our power somewhere along the lines when the medical world took over.


I'd love to hear your thoughts and positive birth experiences!
Please share in the comments below :)

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Trusting Your Inner Guidance: A Story About Walking Away


This article was originally published as a chapter of the Better Business Book Vol. 2,
a multi-author best-selling book series.


IF YOUR PREFER, HERE's A VIDEO OF ME SHARING
MY STORY LIVE FOR THE FIRST TIME

I was on the phone with Albert Hughes, the Hollywood director that did The Book of Eli and other multi-million dollar films.

He had just offered me my dream job.

I was to be his right-hand on an upcoming movie. The contracts were drafted, in my inbox, waiting to be signed.

I was sitting in my tiny bedroom, staring out the window, reflecting back to a few weeks prior when we visited Joel Silber at his Home in Beverly Hills. I hadn't heard his name before but was briefed on the drive over. Apparently Joel was the producer of The Matrix series as well as many other prolific films.

When we arrived, I was in awe. I’d been in mansions before, but not like this. I was told it was a Frank Lloyd Wright original. There was a fountain in the middle of the living room, glass sculptures dangling from the ceiling and a private movie theater where we watched The Maze Runner with him and his family.

I was in.

Just a year and a half prior, I had sold the last of my belongings and took off to explore the world with my first DSLR camera and a backpack. I had just closed the doors on the agency I was running for the last 7 years and was ready to follow what I thought was my passion: film.

I gave up everything. I really thought this was what I wanted.

When we hung up the phone, I was instructed to review everything and send it back in a few days. Shortly after reading the script and the contracts though, something felt really off.

I found myself “excitedly” talking about the chance to work with actors like Denzel Washington and other A-list celebrities but realized I actually didn't care. The more I learned about the film industry, the more turned off I became.

Everyone was expected to put in absurd hours with this underlying competitive “do whatever it takes to make it to the top” energy. Everyone who had reached peak success seemed jaded to me.

Part of my reason for making such a drastic shift was to achieve more balance in my life, yet, this seemed to be at odds with the path I had chosen.

And there was this contract, awaiting my signature. I had already verbally agreed to take the job and move to London where I would live for a year but had just finished traveling extensively and really did not want to move.

At this point, I had two choices: 1. To proceed forward with the original plan and see what life had in store for me or 2. Let it go and start all over again.

I was having a hard time distinguishing whether it was my fear of the unknown or if it was, in fact, my intuition warning me. Finally, I decided if it feels that bad in my body, void of excitement, I needed to trust it.

In the back of my mind, I was dreaming of finding my life partner and somehow knew London wasn’t the place I was going to find him. After years of being completely career focused, this was the one thing I felt was missing from my life.

If anything, I knew I needed to spend less time focusing on my career and more time doing things I loved outside of work.

With each day that passed, the uncomfortable feelings inside my body increased. Finally, I had to make the call.

I asked Albert how many hours we’d be working per day, if I’d be able to get sufficient sleep and have time for balance. There was a long awkward silence on the phone. He came back and said “If you’re asking me about sleep, film is not for you.”

I knew he was right, and I knew what that meant. It meant that I was going to have to give up everything I had worked towards over the last year and the story I’d been telling everyone; that I shut my company down to follow my passion which was film. I had invested everything I had.

But, still, I had to say no. I just knew it wasn’t the right thing for me.

So there I was, in debt, with no money in the bank and had to figure out what to do next.

This was one of those moments where my ego and my intuition were not getting along very well. But it wasn’t the first time I’d done something that seemed crazy either, like shutting down my agency during our best year ever.

I guess I’ve learned that listening to my intuition, no matter how scary or illogical it seems, always leads to something better. The universe responds well when we act with courage.

A branding contract popped up out of nowhere to support my transition while I planned my next steps. And about a month later, I was guided to the path of digital products.

Knowing the possibilities, I set the goal of creating a fully passive income business so I would have time for yoga and meditation, for a relationship and balance. And within a few months, it all started to come true.

I was able to create a 5-figure/mo. digital products business, meet my soulmate (who I’ve now married) and created the life of true freedom I’d always wanted.

The universe is programmed with supreme intelligence and knows exactly where to guide you but we have to be willing to listen and take action, even when it feels scary or unsafe.

Jim Carrey shared that “So many of us choose our path as fear disguised as practicality.” If we rely too much on logic, we miss the whole point of this life experience. We are here to play, to explore, to grow and expand.

We don’t always know our purpose right away, sometimes it takes a bit of trial and error. As long as we don’t get hung up on failure or other people’s ideas of success, we can move forward with faith and confidence.

We are always being led. We always know what to do next.

Remember that and you’re well on your way to everything you desire.


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Get your copy of the Better Business Book Vol. 2 for 100 stories & business advice from entrepreneurs in every industry!

 
 

How to Stop Doubting Your Intuition

How to Stop Doubting Your Intuition

My first article on the Huffington Post!

In it I share some practical tips on how to stop doubting your intuition.

We are always being intuitively guided but the truth is, unless we fully trust ourselves, it's easy to be influenced by the ideas and fears we've been fed by the co-collective.

Once we learn to completely trust this voice though, no outside influence can affect our choices and that's when we find true alignment. That's when life blesses us with gifts beyond what we can possibly imagine.

In this article I share about a time when I went against my intuition, right before one of the most important trips of my life, and the chaos that ensued from not listening.

[Video] How to Quiet Your BUSY MIND + Guided Meditation

[Video] How to Quiet Your BUSY MIND + Guided Meditation

In this video, I'll explain why our minds are non-stop when we try to meditate and how to quiet it down. I also guide you through a short guided meditation (less than 5 minutes) towards the end so you can experience what it's like to get out of your head and into the present moment.

The #1 Secret Every Successful Person Knows

The #1 Secret Every Successful Person Knows

I first heard this concept from an audiobook by Tony Robbins while I was on an evening run and have heard it on repeat over the last decade from millionaires and mentors alike. For everything we want to achieve or create, there’s someone who has already done it and mastered it. This is true whether we’re wanting to start a new business or become a better parent, or anything in between.

How to Overcome Your Ego & Reclaim Your Power


The following is a chapter from my eBook “Overcoming the Two Roadblocks to Change”


Challenging the Ego

The less you feed the ego, the stronger you will be.
— Aleksandra Ninkovic


The last thing the ego wants us to do is change. Any time we expand into a greater version of ourselves, the person we used to be essentially dies. And since the primary function of the ego is to protect us from death, it will resist our evolution at all costs.

So, in order to facilitate the process of expansion, we have to get some control over the ego.

In an attempt to stay safe, it will reach for anything that makes it feel more comfortable or gives it validation, so our work in this chapter is to get a little uncomfortable.

Don’t worry though, you can start small. Following are a few ideas you can try.

I would recommend choosing one or two things from the list below and practicing them daily.

Exercises:

1. Meditate for 30-60 minutes every single day. Although I wrote in the meditation chapter to practice for 10-30 min - it was for a specific reason - the ego will not like it in the beginning. Once you’re ready to get more control over your ego however, it will greatly benefit you to sit for extended periods of time.

2. Take a cold shower or end your shower on cold. Submerge yourself in it completely. The longer you can stand there, the better. The point of this exercise is to get in the practice of non-reaction to stimulus in your external environment. If you can stay in a completely relaxed state, you’ll notice that the associated discomfort actually goes away, even if just for a brief moment. And you start to realize how much control you have over your internal experience through your active surrender.

3. Speaking in front of groups or on camera. The phobia of public speaking is so prevalent in our culture, it’s mind boggling, and something I’ve struggled with quite a bit myself. I attend group gatherings as often as possible where I get the opportunity to speak in a circle, giving me practice when I’m not putting on events. For a while, I was also creating a video journal everyday to get over my fear of speaking on camera. Eventually it became so easy. It just took some getting used to.

4. Fasting. In an attempt to avoid starvation, the ego wants to eat as often as possible. It doesn’t see the logic of avoiding food. To the contrary, studies have shown that intermittent fasting is one of the best things you can do for your body. Gurus and sages, too, have been telling us for centuries that this practice helps to awaken the spirit.

5. Your turn. Let yourself get creative here. Try to think of any way your ego’s holding you back, whether it’s related to your body or self expression. Maybe it’s dancing in public without any alcohol or walking around in a bikini, maybe it’s flirting with someone you think is attractive...? You can make a list of your own or just think one up and do it!


*The article is an excerpt from my book “Overcoming the Two Roadblocks to Change”
(Chapter: Challenging the Ego) Get your copy here!*


If you enjoyed this article, please share it. I appreciate it! You’re amazing!!

The #1 Practice to Change Your Life


The following is a chapter from my eBook “Overcoming the Two Roadblocks to Change”


To a mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.
— Lao Tzu

Although I outline several practices to help you transition into living the life you want, if I had only one to share with you, it would be this; to make meditation a daily practice.

The value of this cannot be understated, still, it’s important to understand why it is so powerful and how it can support you through the process of change.

Firstly, let’s look at what meditation actually is.

It is not, as many people may think, just sitting passively with your eyes closed and hands folded in your lap. It can look that way, but it can also be done with your eyes open or dancing or in a structured movement practice like yoga.

Meditation is not about what you do with your body or even what you put your attention on (the breath, for example) – it is simply a practice of focus. That’s why we hear of so many varied techniques and modalities.

Stress reduction, improved health and heightened intuition are all benefits of the practice but not the ultimate reason for it.

Gurus and sages have told us for centuries of the grand possibilities that exist just beyond our current level of awareness – transcendence of the ego and a complete sense of oneness with all things.

You may be wondering, though, if this is really possible for you.

I believe it is. I believe it is for all of us.

Especially if we take a closer look at what we call reality. We live in what some have referred to as a “holographic” universe. Atoms, which make up everything we see, taste and touch are made up of 99.99999...% energy. There is a tiny nucleus in the center of the atom which has a measurable density. Still, if all the nuclei within the atoms of the human body were gathered together – they would hardly fit into a thimble.

Going a little further, the spectrum of visible light we perceive with our eyes is a mere 0.0035% of all the electromagnetic energy that exists around us.

So most of what is here, we cannot see or perceive with our senses, and the forms we do see are made up almost entirely out of energy.

When we look at these facts, we realize there’s much more happening than we see at first glance. And the term holographic starts to sound a bit more accurate, all things considered.

So, not only do we have a limited perspective of our world, so too, do we have an incredibly limited perspective of ourselves and that which we are capable of.

We’ve heard of miracles taking place around the world but many doubt them unless they can “see it with their own eyes”. We’ve heard of out-of-body phenomena that people have experienced during meditation or near-death encounters, still, many do not think they can achieve this state of awareness. We’ve heard of people using visualization to manifest the partner or business of their dreams, but many doubt this is even possible.

Our minds have been programmed by the collective belief systems that have been passed down for thousands of years, many of which have attempted to suppress our own individual power.

Our education, too, has aimed at simplifying the world around us, taking all magic out of the equation.

They tell us this is a circle, this is the color red, this is how time works. And we believe them.

We build our entire model of reality based on these limited ideas. Until we start looking deeper into the world of vibration and the nature of space/time.

Dr. Joe Dispenza, a neurobiologist and quantum physics teacher, shares with us that “The biggest lie we are taught is that we’re linear beings living a linear life. The truth is we’re multidimensional beings.”

But why don’t we experience ourselves in this way?

It starts with our beliefs that create an extremely limited perspective which we reinforce in every waking moment through our thoughts and feelings (energy).

We have to be willing to let go of everything we think we know in order to experience ourselves as the dynamic spiritual beings we are.

Everything we think we “know for sure” should be questioned. We have to open our minds and let go of judgement and skepticism, which ultimately hold us back from seeing the truth.

Access to higher wisdom

If we look at animals, one of the first things we notice is how they seem to have no trouble accessing their inner wisdom. Spiders instinctively know how to weave the perfect web, bears know when to hibernate and birds know when to fly south.

It’s as if all of nature is part of an elaborate symphony, with one grand conductor.

We, too, are part of this orchestra and have access to the same inner guidance but we forgot how to listen.

We’ve become so distracted and disconnected from nature that meditation is often the only way to bring this balance back. The Chinese Yin Yang symbol was created from an understanding of what is required for balance: Yin, which represents the feminine energy/surrender and Yang, which represents the masculine energy/doing.

This doesn’t mean that women are to completely surrender while the men do all the work, it’s something that all human beings need in order for harmony to exist.

Our world has become almost completely Yang; doing, doing, doing out of a sense of fear – which helps us understand why things have gotten so out of balance.

But when we learn the art of surrender and trust enough to let go, even for just a little while, a whole floodgate of love and information pours through our mind and body.

This wisdom and intelligence can guide us every step of the way, if we’re willing to allow it, trust it and actually follow it’s guidance (which can be pretty scary at first).

Addiction to our emotions

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Joe Dispenza teaches us that every time we think a certain thought or feel a certain feeling, we receive a rush of chemicals from the brain into the body.

He shares “The hypothalamus releases peptides (small chain amino acid sequences) that match certain emotions we experience - so there are chemicals for anger, for sadness, for victimization, for lust. There’s a chemical for every emotional state we experience.”

And because of the addictive nature of these chemicals, he states that “We’ll bring to ourselves situations that will fulfill the biochemical craving of the cells of our body by creating situations that meet our chemical needs.”

This is why the ego has such a hard time sitting still.

It’s cravings are too strong. It wants to run, to create, to distract itself. It thrives off drama and rewards and chemical addictions.

It can’t handle the truth of reality so it would rather live in a fantasy world, one that causes us much suffering. It sounds so counterintuitive that it can actually be hard to understand but it’s all happening at a deep subconscious level.

I remember, after shutting my agency down, that I was still unable to relax. There were no more demands on me and no reasons to stress out per se. But apparently I had built up a dependency on these chemicals, namely cortisol, so even as I sat on a perfect beach in the middle of paradise, my mind would create stress just so my body could get the chemical “reward.”

It took quite a while for me to identify what was happening and then to finally break this addictive pattern. It wasn’t until I implemented a daily meditation practice again that I was able to break the cycle of addiction.

When we want to change our life, the first step is to identify how we want to feel then to allow ourselves to feel it.

Let yourself feel excited about what’s coming.

Don’t think too much about “how” everything will unfold, this is a feeling process. By activating the preferred emotion and visualizing the future you want to create, you not only feel better immediately but also break the chemical addiction and align to the gifts the universe is trying to deliver.


Exercise:

This exercise was inspired by a meditation I did with Dr. Joe Dispenza at one of his Advanced
Meditation Workshops.

1. Find a quiet room where you won’t be distracted.

2. Write down your future goal at the top of a blank piece of paper.

3. Next, get clear on the details – Write down the 4 main reasons you want it and 4 ways you want to feel as a result. From my experience, this is the most important step to getting clear. It shouldn’t take too long - the goal of this exercise is to get in the feeling of it and actively daydream about what you want.

4. Set a gentle alarm for at least 10 minutes but preferably closer to 30 (it can take a while for the body to unravel and drop into slower brain wave patterns). Or you can use a meditation track that is the desired length for your meditation.

5. I recommend sitting in silence or listening to music with headphones. This helps shut off the outside world. I’ll have guided meditations out soon, but for now, this exercise would best be done without one.

6. Sitting in darkness or with an eye mask can further eliminate distractions from the outside world and also facilitate the opening of your third eye (your ability to receive information in the form of pictures and images).

7. Next, for a few minutes, place your attention on the space behind your eyes and the space around your body. This will help you tap into all the energy within you and around you.

8. As your mind wanders, each time, just bring it back. It’s the nature of the mind to problem solve so it won’t see much value in sitting and focusing on space. The analytical mind forgets that it’s surrounded by a sea of energy and information. So remind yourself of that and tap back in.

9. Once you’ve settled the body and mind a bit, bring in your desire. You don’t have to remember everything on your list, just think about how you will feel once it finally arrives (even if you have no signs of it anywhere in your life).

10. If any visualizations come through, allow them but try not to force them.

11. Let your whole body feel the emotions you want to feel - the excitement, the peace, the love.

12. Finally, bring it into your heart and accept it if it’s already yours. Let gratitude pour over you and say: “Thank you for this experience. Thank you for everything you’ve blessed me with up until this moment. Thank you for my life.”


The most interesting thing about this is that, if you allow yourself to really drop into it, you’ll feel better even if nothing changes in your outside world. And this is where real change starts to happen. Because we’re looking for the feeling. And the universe is responding to our feeling.

Everything that we want in life, we want because we think it will make us feel better.

So let yourself go, allow yourself to relax and trust that you will be guided through the process of life. If you’re familiar with Sacred Geometry (as seen on the cover of the book), you’ll know that everything in the universe follows very specific patterns, measurements and calculations, including all the so-called random events.

If you look a bit further into this, you will know that we are being led by this set of rules and we can always trust it to lead us to the highest evolution of our soul.

As long as we don’t grasp too tightly to what we want, we can be happy. Maybe things are supposed to go the way we want them to or maybe something much grander is supposed to happen.

Either way, we have the choice to feel good. And the more we allow ourselves to feel good, the more the universe showers its’ love upon us.


*The article is an excerpt from my book “Overcoming the Two Roadblocks to Change”
(Chapter: Meditation) Get your copy here!*


If you enjoyed this article, please share it. I appreciate it! You’re amazing!!

How to Overcome Fear and Self-Sabotage

How to Overcome Fear and Self-Sabotage

There are two voices that live inside each of us, or at least it seems they do. We know them intimately. They’ve been with us our entire lives. There is some question as to whether they are coming from inside us, but I’ll get into that later.