The #1 Secret Every Successful Person Knows

The #1 Secret Every Successful Person Knows

I first heard this concept from an audiobook by Tony Robbins while I was on an evening run and have heard it on repeat over the last decade from millionaires and mentors alike. For everything we want to achieve or create, there’s someone who has already done it and mastered it. This is true whether we’re wanting to start a new business or become a better parent, or anything in between.

How to Overcome Your Ego & Reclaim Your Power


The following is a chapter from my free eBook “Overcoming the Two Roadblocks to Change”
Grab your free copy here!


Challenging the Ego

The less you feed the ego, the stronger you will be.
— Aleksandra Ninkovic


The last thing the ego wants us to do is change. Any time we expand into a greater version of ourselves, the person we used to be essentially dies. And as the primary function of the ego is to protect us from death, it will resist our evolution at all costs.

So, in order to facilitate the process of expansion, we have to get some control over the ego.

In an attempt to stay safe, it will reach for anything that makes it feel more comfortable or gives it validation, so our work in this chapter is to get a little uncomfortable.

Don’t worry though, you can start small. Following are a few ideas you can try.

I would recommend choosing one or two things from the list below and practicing them daily.

Exercises:

1. Meditate for 30-60 minutes every single day. Although I wrote in the meditation chapter to practice for 10-30 min - it was for a specific reason - the ego will not like it in the beginning. Once you’re ready to get more control over your ego however, it will greatly benefit you to sit for extended periods of time.

2. Take a cold shower or end your shower on cold. Submerge yourself in it completely. The longer you can stand there, the better. The point of this exercise is to get in the practice of non-reaction to stimulus in your external environment. If you can stay in a completely relaxed state, you’ll notice that the associated discomfort actually goes away, even if just for a brief moment. And you start to realize how much control you have over your internal experience through your active surrender.

3. Speaking in front of groups or on camera. The phobia of public speaking is so prevalent in our culture, it’s mind boggling, and something I’ve struggled with quite a bit myself. I attend group gatherings as often as possible where I get the opportunity to speak in a circle, giving me practice when I’m not putting on events. For a while, I was also creating a video journal everyday to get over my fear of speaking on camera. Eventually it became so easy. It just took some getting used to.

4. Fasting. In an attempt to avoid starvation, the ego wants to eat as often as possible. It doesn’t see the logic of avoiding food. To the contrary, studies have shown that intermittent fasting is one of the best things you can do for your body. Gurus and sages, too, have been telling us for centuries that this practice helps to awaken the spirit.

5. Your turn. Let yourself get creative here. Try to think of any way your ego’s holding you back, whether it’s related to your body or self expression. Maybe it’s dancing in public without any alcohol or walking around in a bikini, maybe it’s flirting with someone you think is attractive...? You can make a list of your own or just think one up and do it!


*The article is an excerpt from my free eBook (Chapter: Challenging the Ego) Overcoming the Two Roadblocks to Change – Grab your free copy here! 

If you enjoyed this article, please share it. I appreciate it! You’re amazing!!

The #1 Practice to Change Your Life


The following is a chapter from my free eBook “Overcoming the Two Roadblocks to Change”
Grab your free copy here!


To a mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.
— Lao Tzu

Although I outline several practices to help you transition into living the life you want, if I had only one to share with you, it would be this; to make meditation a daily practice.

The value of this cannot be understated, still, it’s important to understand why it is so powerful and how it can support you through the process of change.

Firstly, let’s look at what meditation actually is.

It is not, as many people may think, just sitting passively with your eyes closed and hands folded in your lap. It can look that way, but it can also be done with your eyes open or dancing or in a structured movement practice like yoga.

Meditation is not about what you do with your body or even what you put your attention on (the breath, for example) – it is simply a practice of focus. That’s why we hear of so many varied techniques and modalities.

Stress reduction, improved health and heightened intuition are all benefits of the practice but not the ultimate reason for it.

Gurus and sages have told us for centuries of the grand possibilities that exist just beyond our current level of awareness – transcendence of the ego and a complete sense of oneness with all things.

You may be wondering, though, if this is really possible for you.

I believe it is. I believe it is for all of us.

Especially if we take a closer look at what we call reality. We live in what some have referred to as a “holographic” universe. Atoms, which make up everything we see, taste and touch are made up of 99.99999...% energy. There is a tiny nucleus in the center of the atom which has a measurable density. Still, if all the nuclei within the atoms of the human body were gathered together – they would hardly fit into a thimble.

Going a little further, the spectrum of visible light we perceive with our eyes is a mere 0.0035% of all the electromagnetic energy that exists around us.

So most of what is here, we cannot see or perceive with our senses, and the forms we do see are made up almost entirely out of energy.

When we look at these facts, we realize there’s much more happening than we see at first glance. And the term holographic starts to sound a bit more accurate, all things considered.

So, not only do we have a limited perspective of our world, so too, do we have an incredibly limited perspective of ourselves and that which we are capable of.

We’ve heard of miracles taking place around the world but many doubt them unless they can “see it with their own eyes”. We’ve heard of out-of-body phenomena that people have experienced during meditation or near-death encounters, still, many do not think they can achieve this state of awareness. We’ve heard of people using visualization to manifest the partner or business of their dreams, but many doubt this is even possible.

Our minds have been programmed by the collective belief systems that have been passed down for thousands of years, many of which have attempted to suppress our own individual power.

Our education, too, has aimed at simplifying the world around us, taking all magic out of the equation.

They tell us this is a circle, this is the color red, this is how time works. And we believe them.

We build our entire model of reality based on these limited ideas. Until we start looking deeper into the world of vibration and the nature of space/time.

Dr. Joe Dispenza, a neurobiologist and quantum physics teacher, shares with us that “The biggest lie we are taught is that we’re linear beings living a linear life. The truth is we’re multidimensional beings.”

But why don’t we experience ourselves in this way?

It starts with our beliefs that create an extremely limited perspective which we reinforce in every waking moment through our thoughts and feelings (energy).

We have to be willing to let go of everything we think we know in order to experience ourselves as the dynamic spiritual beings we are.

Everything we think we “know for sure” should be questioned. We have to open our minds and let go of judgement and skepticism, which ultimately hold us back from seeing the truth.

Access to higher wisdom

If we look at animals, one of the first things we notice is how they seem to have no trouble accessing their inner wisdom. Spiders instinctively know how to weave the perfect web, bears know when to hibernate and birds know when to fly south.

It’s as if all of nature is part of an elaborate symphony, with one grand conductor.

We, too, are part of this orchestra and have access to the same inner guidance but we forgot how to listen.

We’ve become so distracted and disconnected from nature that meditation is often the only way to bring this balance back. The Chinese Yin Yang symbol was created from an understanding of what is required for balance: Yin, which represents the feminine energy/surrender and Yang, which represents the masculine energy/doing.

This doesn’t mean that women are to completely surrender while the men do all the work, it’s something that all human beings need in order for harmony to exist.

Our world has become almost completely Yang; doing, doing, doing out of a sense of fear – which helps us understand why things have gotten so out of balance.

But when we learn the art of surrender and trust enough to let go, even for just a little while, a whole floodgate of love and information pours through our mind and body.

This wisdom and intelligence can guide us every step of the way, if we’re willing to allow it, trust it and actually follow it’s guidance (which can be pretty scary at first).

Addiction to our emotions

meditation-addiction-to-emotions.jpg

Joe Dispenza teaches us that every time we think a certain thought or feel a certain feeling, we receive a rush of chemicals from the brain into the body.

He shares “The hypothalamus releases peptides (small chain amino acid sequences) that match certain emotions we experience - so there are chemicals for anger, for sadness, for victimization, for lust. There’s a chemical for every emotional state we experience.”

And because of the addictive nature of these chemicals, he states that “We’ll bring to ourselves situations that will fulfill the biochemical craving of the cells of our body by creating situations that meet our chemical needs.”

This is why the ego has such a hard time sitting still.

It’s cravings are too strong. It wants to run, to create, to distract itself. It thrives off drama and rewards and chemical addictions.

It can’t handle the truth of reality so it would rather live in a fantasy world, one that causes us much suffering. It sounds so counterintuitive that it can actually be hard to understand but it’s all happening at a deep subconscious level.

I remember, after shutting my agency down, that I was still unable to relax. There were no more demands on me and no reasons to stress out per se. But apparently I had built up a dependency on these chemicals, namely cortisol, so even as I sat on a perfect beach in the middle of paradise, my mind would create stress just so my body could get the chemical “reward.”

It took quite a while for me to identify what was happening and then to finally break this addictive pattern. It wasn’t until I implemented a daily meditation practice again that I was able to break the cycle of addiction.

When we want to change our life, the first step is to identify how we want to feel then to allow ourselves to feel it.

Let yourself feel excited about what’s coming.

Don’t think too much about “how” everything will unfold, this is a feeling process. By activating the preferred emotion and visualizing the future you want to create, you not only feel better immediately but also break the chemical addiction and align to the gifts the universe is trying to deliver.


Exercise:

This exercise was inspired by a meditation I did with Dr. Joe Dispenza at one of his Advanced
Meditation Workshops.

1. Find a quiet room where you won’t be distracted.

2. Write down your future goal at the top of a blank piece of paper.

3. Next, get clear on the details – Write down the 4 main reasons you want it and 4 ways you want to feel as a result. From my experience, this is the most important step to getting clear. It shouldn’t take too long - the goal of this exercise is to get in the feeling of it and actively daydream about what you want.

4. Set a gentle alarm for at least 10 minutes but preferably closer to 30 (it can take a while for the body to unravel and drop into slower brain wave patterns). Or you can use a meditation track that is the desired length for your meditation.

5. I recommend sitting in silence or listening to music with headphones. This helps shut off the outside world. I’ll have guided meditations out soon, but for now, this exercise would best be done without one.

6. Sitting in darkness or with an eye mask can further eliminate distractions from the outside world and also facilitate the opening of your third eye (your ability to receive information in the form of pictures and images).

7. Next, for a few minutes, place your attention on the space behind your eyes and the space around your body. This will help you tap into all the energy within you and around you.

8. As your mind wanders, each time, just bring it back. It’s the nature of the mind to problem solve so it won’t see much value in sitting and focusing on space. The analytical mind forgets that it’s surrounded by a sea of energy and information. So remind yourself of that and tap back in.

9. Once you’ve settled the body and mind a bit, bring in your desire. You don’t have to remember everything on your list, just think about how you will feel once it finally arrives (even if you have no signs of it anywhere in your life).

10. If any visualizations come through, allow them but try not to force them.

11. Let your whole body feel the emotions you want to feel - the excitement, the peace, the love.

12. Finally, bring it into your heart and accept it if it’s already yours. Let gratitude pour over you and say: “Thank you for this experience. Thank you for everything you’ve blessed me with up until this moment. Thank you for my life.”


The most interesting thing about this is that, if you allow yourself to really drop into it, you’ll feel better even if nothing changes in your outside world. And this is where real change starts to happen. Because we’re looking for the feeling. And the universe is responding to our feeling.

Everything that we want in life, we want because we think it will make us feel better.

So let yourself go, allow yourself to relax and trust that you will be guided through the process of life. If you’re familiar with Sacred Geometry (as seen on the cover of the book), you’ll know that everything in the universe follows very specific patterns, measurements and calculations, including all the so-called random events.

If you look a bit further into this, you will know that we are being led by this set of rules and we can always trust it to lead us to the highest evolution of our soul.

As long as we don’t grasp too tightly to what we want, we can be happy. Maybe things are supposed to go the way we want them to or maybe something much grander is supposed to happen.

Either way, we have the choice to feel good. And the more we allow ourselves to feel good, the more the universe showers its’ love upon us.


*The article is an excerpt from my free eBook (Chapter: Meditation) Overcoming the Two Roadblocks to Change – Grab your free copy here! 

If you enjoyed this article, please share it. I appreciate it! You’re amazing!!

How to Master Difficult Conversations

How to Master Difficult Conversations

"A person’s success in life can usually be determined by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have." - Tim Ferris. It’s impossible to change our lives without an uncomfortable conversation coming up at least once. For many people, it can be as simple as saying no, asking for what we want or communicating our preferences.

How to Overcome Fear and Self-Sabotage

How to Overcome Fear and Self-Sabotage

There are two voices that live inside each of us, or at least it seems they do. We know them intimately. They’ve been with us our entire lives. There is some question as to whether they are coming from inside us, but I’ll get into that later.